Now we can both go our own ways and get what we want out of life

Hello! Today was good – so was last night for that matter. We did our usual Monday night trivia thing at the GPO Hotel. Our team (“Duffmen”) didn’t win any of the rounds, but we scored higher than we did last week (well, in one round). Last weeks scores were 5, 4, 6 and 5. This weeks were 6, 0, 8 and 5 (or close to it). Mum & dad came along too, and my brother was on the team too, of course. Next week, I’ve got a few more people coming, so hopefully we’ll win something this time!

Last nights’ cash giveaway for Round 4 was a $50 bar tab and $110 cash!!! And 1 guy won it (he was his own team) – wow… pretty good, considering its only $2 to enter. hehe! So yeah; can’t wait till next Monday nite Shamus was there again, as usual. haha.

In other news, Brandt asked me to remove Sunday night’s diary entry about him, so I did. For those who didn’t get to read it in the 2 days it was there, tough lol. Basically it was about Brandt – hence why he asked me to remove it. His mum also called me up at ~11pm and fired some of her charming thoughts my way… yup – told you that diary entry was gonna offend.

I was also asked not to go to Brandt’s formal anymore. It’s no biggie. He has also expressed his wishes that he no longer wants to be involved with the end of year concert productions that I work for – but that’s fine too… I have to respect if he doesn’t want to see me or talk to me, and I do.

My entry wasn’t intended to defame in any way, although it was taken that way by some people. I’ve had people from both sides come to me and tell me their feelings and thoughts about it… email has been insane since Sunday when it was posted – granted this web site has had 5.4 million visitors since 1998 (and counting), I didn’t expect this much attention. Maybe I should sell some ad-space? lol… just kidding

Readers from around the world have been emailing me about it – Elaine from America sent an email of support, while Stanley in Western Australia agrees that it wasn’t so good. I don’t know who half these people are? In fact, I don’t know who any of you are, but you’re obviously regulars that have found my site somehow, so thank you for your emails and thank you for reading.

Looking back on it myself now, I honestly don’t see anything defamatory – that other site is, but mine wasn’t – well, at least I didn’t intend mine to be that way. Just a lot of speculation, pondering and thought provoking things. Even friends’ nicknames reflected that diary entry! My diary is full of this – it’s a place for thinking.

Geez I hate having to cover my ass with this diary all the time. Man, sometimes you’re more trouble than it’s worth, Mr Diary *shakes head*. Next year, I’m introducing a members-only diary. From 2004, you’ll be to find it in the Members Section of my web site – it will be very open, while the public diary will be kept for more generalized things that go on in my life.

Don’t get me wrong – Brandt is a nice guy; I never said he wasn’t, but we want different things. I didn’t feel loved (he told me he didn’t want to be seen out with me, he wanted to appear single and available, etc) and I wanted more than that. Love isn’t something that just exists. It’s something that you have to show – whether it’s a surprise romantic dinner or just being there when the other person’s feeling down… it can’t exist and it can’t survive if its never expressed (thanks for the quote, Iain).

Now we can both go our own ways and get what we want out of life.