He’s so cute when he’s confused

Oh wow, today was a really cool day – I did something I’d never done before, and it was both scary and exciting at the same time. The carwash. Yup, for the first time in my life I went through an automated car wash. Not me personally, but I was in Jono’s car and we took it for a carwash… 1) Because the car was dirty, but also 2) because Jono wanted to show me what the rage was all about.

So anyway, we drive past a BP servo and there’s 1 car inside the carwash and 2 other waiting, so stuff that – we drove up the road to the 7-11 servo and since there was no one in their carwash (and no one waiting to go in – bargain!) we decided to go into that one.

Anyway, Jono went inside and got a token code thingy and we drove up to the machine and he punched it in. At first it said wrong code, and he was all confused (he’s so cute when he’s confused ) but then he put it in again and it worked. So far so good. I was still reasonably calm at this stage.

We drove in. Now, this was the bit I wondered about – how does it know where the car is, what kind of car it is, and all that kind of stuff. Like, you don’t want to have it snap off your antenna or your mirrors, or crack your spoiler in half or anything – how on earth does it know where the car is and all of that kind of stuff? Anyway, we Jono drove in, there was a sensor pad that the front wheel went onto, so obviously, that was how it knew.

For a few seconds nothing happened. Then, suddenly, the green light at the side went to red, and the whole contraption started whirring as it moved towards the car, and then these jet-type things started spitting and dribbling foamy stuff at the car – kinda like a baby – you know, when they sorta aren’t sure whether they’re going to eat that mashed banana in their hand, or just dribble it all over the floor. It went to the back of the car (dribbling bits of white foam) then came back. Again, it was silent for a while.

All of a sudden, the big brushes started turning at the front. I don’t think I wet myself. They were spinning so fast, the coloured rubber bristly things spinning so fast it became a rainbow whir of colour – a bit like a gay-pride flag being waved around by a dyke [on a bike] on speed. Then they began moving towards the car. Then a long horizontal one from above came down just infront of the car – spinning like crazy, spinning like there was no tomorrow. By this stage, I had put my seat belt back on again… I could even see some fear in Jono’s eyes as the big horizontal brush headed straight for the bonnet (unlike me, he’d been through a carwash with his car before – maybe he was just pretending to be scared so I didn’t feel so silly – hehehe).

Wish an clash, it hit the front grille of the car and started to lift a little before pounding its way across the bonnet towards the windscreen. Water was going everywhere!! It raised again and began to make its way up over the windscreen – the wipers straining to hold onto something against the force of the spinning bristles. With an almighty roar that sounded like 20 hailstorms, the horizontal brush slowly made its way over the roof. By this stage I was screaming and squealing in a mix of both fright & excitement (Jono was laughing, of course ).

These black brushy things on the side were cleaning the wheels and along the bottom of the sides of the car, and the two colourful spinners were going down the sides, PLUS the big one going along the roof, down the back then across the end of the car, almost as if it wanted to rip off the spoiler and add it to its’ collection. By this stage, Andy was very excited, which meant a lot of squealing and laughing rather loudly

Then they came back and stopped at the front. Wow, that was awesome! But that’s not all. Then these giant fans started (with that scary high-powered kind of noise that machinery and fans make when they start – like that “ddooowwooooii” noise) and this bracket thing moved towards the car. It came about 5cm of the windscreen before it went up and around the car – high-powered heat jets blowing hot air all over the car. As usual, it came back doing the same thing, only not as scary this time – but the big metal bracket thing still coming of about 5cm of the glass.

And that was it – out we drove, as if nothing had ever happened (only the car was much prettier now)! Talk about a cheap thrill; I’ve already asked Jono to take me again next weekend. That’s the best $8 I’ve ever spent (even though it was Jono’s money )!

Eat your heart out Dreamworld – next time you want to get me excited and thrilled, take me to the car wash! Hrm… now I know why they wrote a song about it ;-D